Cooking With Yuki
by Kaslo
Summary: Yuki is now in university, and is still the worst cook in history. Momiji gets the idea in his head to teach Yuki how to cook! What could possibly go wrong? Takes place after the end of the manga.
1. Chapter 1

_A little story that came to mind after reading a review on another story. Takes place after the curse! Later will (somewhat) tie into one of my other stories, Broken Hearts. No pairings!_

_And if you're wondering where Machi is in all this, I don't like her very much, so I decided not to add her in! Yay! Sorry to any Machi fans out there. Did I mention I also kind of hate Rin? *hides from Machi and Rin fans*_

_Disclaimer: Kaslo does not own Fruits Basket (yay third person!)_

**Cooking With Yuki**

At best, Yuki Sohma was not a good cook. At worst, he could easily burn the house down by (attempting) to make_ soup._

Yes, people have tried to teach Yuki to cook, or at least fix himself a bowl of cereal without having anything go wrong. Shigure tried to find simple recipes for him to try, but nothing was ever simple enough. Tohru made an effort to show him how to use the rice cooker, but that was a disaster. Even Kyo once showed him how to make a cake, but it somehow ended up in Kyo's face after a fight. And of course, several Home Ec and Foods teachers tried their luck too, but most of them had to take leave due to stress or mental breakdowns after having Yuki in their class.

And yet, now in university, Yuki _still_ could not cook to save his life. He relied mainly on takeout, ready-made food and items that did not require much preparing, such as raw fruits and vegetables.

Worse still, now that he was living on his own, he didn't have anyone but himself to clean up after something did go wrong. How he missed Tohru at times like that. Kyo had it easy.

Yuki sighed to himself as he cleaned up yet_ another_ cooking catastrophe in his kitchen. When the recipe book said that the 'flavor will explode', he didn't think they meant that literally.

_DING DONG!_

"Coming!" Yuki called, quickly wiping up the last of his mess. He brushed some flour out of his hair as he ran to get the door.

"Yukiiiii!" sang Momiji as Yuki opened the apartment door. Yuki stumbled backwards when Momiji glomped him.

"Hi, Momiji," Yuki managed to gasp once the younger boy loosened his strangle hold of a hug. He missed the days when the younger boy was half his size. When had he gotten so _strong?_

"Ready to go?" asked the blond eagerly.

"How could I forget?" muttered Yuki.

_Earlier that week… (Yay, flash back!)_

"Yuki! I'm going to teach you to cook!" Momiji announced over the phone. Yuki nearly fell over.

"Why the hell would you want to do that? You've seen what happens when I cook!" Yuki said, remembering all the failed attempts of others before.

"Well, you haven't seen me in the kitchen! I'm getting really good at cooking! I'm taking an advanced foods course at school!"

"Good for you…" Yuki muttered, kind of jealous. Even Momiji was now a better cook than he was. And knowing that psycho, he'd probably want to bring over his creations to share with Yuki. And that would be just plain humiliating.

"So how about it? Would you like to come over this weekend? I'll even ask if we can use the main house's giant kitchen!" Momiji chirped.

"Well… I don't know…" Even though Akito was not a threat anymore, Yuki still didn't like the main house. But maybe if he went for just one afternoon he might possibly maybe actually learn something. Momiji seemed pretty optimistic, though Yuki really couldn't say the same for himself.

"Come on! Pleeeeaase?" Momiji whined.

"Sure. Why not?"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Yuki had to hold the phone an arm's length away from his ear until his energetic cousin ran out of breath.

_End flash back. _

And so that brings us back to the present, with Yuki standing at the gates of the main house.

"Yukiiiii!" hollered Momiji as he jumped down from the high wall he was sitting on. Yuki quickly sidestepped, fearing an aerial attack style hug. "Lets go inside! I've got some great recipes that I think you'll like!"

"All right," he sighed, plastering a smile on his face in hopes of keeping an optimistic attitude. Momiji led the way into the vast kitchen of the main Sohma house.

"Now lets get cooking!" Momiji cried, tying on an apron and a cheesy-looking chef's hat. He started pulling out recipe book after recipe book from one of the cupboards.

"Damn…" muttered Yuki, eyeing the thick books that seemed to be mocking him. "What have I gotten myself into?"

* * *

_To be continued…_

_So… What did you think? Please review! *puts out plate of cookies to lure in lurkers* And btw, Momiji made the cookies, not Yuki, so they're perfectly fine!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Here's the next chapter! _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing!_

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* * *

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_"Damn…" muttered Yuki, eyeing the thick books that seemed to be mocking him. "What have I gotten myself into?"_

Yuki stood there in the middle of the vast kitchen, just thinking about the cleanliness, good food and sanity he was about to destroy.

_It's not that I don't want to cook, it's just that I can't!_ Yuki wailed silently.

"Hey! Yuki! What did you want to make first?" asked Momiji as he washed his hands, jerking the silver-haired boy back to reality.

"Oh… Well… You're the master chef here. You decide. Just make it something simple." He replied quietly.

"Okay! Let's try something easy first, like stir-fried rice! It's pretty simple, and makes a quick and easy meal! Go wash your hands and we can start first!" Momiji bounced to the other end of the kitchen and brought out the rice cooker and a frying pan.

"Why do you need both?" Yuki asked, already starting to feel confused as he made his way over to the sink. Didn't you only need to cook things once?

"Oh, first we need to make the rice, then we need to stir-fry it. The rice cooker will do its job and make the rice for you, so all you need to do is pour in the right amount of water. The harder part is actually making the stir-fry, and even that is pretty simple!" the younger boy explained. Yuki thanked the gods that though Momiji was trying to teach him to _cook,_ he wasn't like his Home Ec and Foods teachers that were boring to listen to. His cousin seemed to be having fun, and his explanations seemed easy enough. A small glimmer of hope flared in his chest.

"Okay! Sounds… good. Can you show me how to work the rice cooker?" Yuki grinned sheepishly. Yes, he had been shown before, but that information kind of went in one ear and out the other. Momiji stared at him funny.

"Didn't Tohru show you how already?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"I forgot."

"Well then lets make you un-forget!" Momiji then showed Yuki how to turn the cooker on and put it to the right setting and how much water to pour in. Yuki mentally took notes, as this would probably be useful knowledge in the future.

"So what do we do while it cooks?" asked Yuki.

"We get the other ingredients ready!" Momiji replied, pulling out some ham, frozen peas and eggs. "But first we need to cook the eggs!" Momiji brought out another frying pan to scramble the eggs. Yuki just watched in awe as the blond worked quickly to cook the eggs. It was amazing, it was like watching Tohru cook. And Tohru's cooking was probably the best ever.

Once the rice was done, Momiji told Yuki how to stir-fry it in with the ham, peas and eggs. "You can do it. It's really easy. All you need to do it just put it all into the pan and cook it at medium heat. Make sure that you keep stirring it so nothing burns!" he explained cheerily.

"I think I got it." Yuki smiled and set to work. Momiji watched him for about a minute, but since Yuki was doing a pretty good job, he decided it was okay to leaf through some more recipe books. He even took the frying pan off the stove at the correct time. And who said Yuki couldn't learn to cook?

"Oh… Jeez… Crap! Momiji!" Yuki yelled as something caught on fire. Momiji whirled around to see something igniting on the stove. The younger boy rushed to grab a fire extinguisher to put out the blaze. The foam enveloped the element that the stir-fry had been just minutes ago.

"What did I do?" shouted Yuki, trembling. He had done everything his cousin had said! What could have possibly gone wrong? Momiji inspected the damage. What a surprise, Yuki forgot to turn off the stove and left a paper towel on the burner. It was only then that Momiji really understood how Yuki could manage to burn down the house whenever he cooked. Well, at least the fried rice looked okay. He experimentally sniffed it. It smelled okay.

"Is this right?" Yuki asked. At least he managed to not burn the food for once in his life. He grabbed a spoon out of one of the drawers and gave it a taste test. Not bad. For once.

Upon seeing Yuki taste his own creation and not make a face, Momiji decided to give it a go. He also found a spoon and lifted some rice to his mouth. He hesitantly tasted it. It was pretty good.

"GOOD JOB YUKI!" He cried. "That wasn't so bad, was it? It's actually pretty good!"

Yuki tried to hide his excitement. This was the first time someone had praised his cooking. "So should we clean up?" he asked.

"Of course! And then we'll make something else! We have the whole day!" Momiji sang as he started wiping off the stove and counter. Yuki paled. Cooking for the whole day? He hadn't been here for an hour and he had already started a fire. How the hell was he going to explain it if he burned down the _Main house's_ kitchen? He glanced at the fire extinguisher, still sitting on the counter. For some reason, Yuki thought that one might not be enough.

* * *

_To be continued! _

_Of course something catches on fire! It wouldn't be Yuki it didn't! Review please! And maybe give me some recipe suggestions you'd like to see Yuki and Momiji attempt? I'm not exactly the best cook myself. _


	3. Chapter 3

Momiji was determined to find Yuki a recipe where nothing could go wrong. Their attempt at fried rice went fairly well, except that Yuki forgot to turn off the stove. But what mattered was that the end result had been (mostly) edible. And that proved that Yuki could cook. Sort of.

"Okay, Yuki! Let's try baking now. We'll make cookies! Which ones do you want to try?" Momiji held up a recipe book with several pictures of different cookies.

"Those ones," Yuki muttered, pointing to the easiest looking recipe.

"Peanut butter cookies it is!" sang Momiji. He peered at the cook book. He began listing the ingredients for Yuki to get. "One cup of margarine, one cup of peanut butter, one cup of white sugar, one cup of brown sugar, two eggs, one teaspoon vanilla extract, half a teaspoon almond extract, two and a half cups of all-purpose flour, one and a half teaspoons baking soda and half a teaspoon of salt." Yuki scrambled to get everything.

"Now what?" he asked, trying to look over his cousin's shoulder and see the instructions in the book.

"Now we pre-heat the oven to 375˚ Fahrenheit... I think I'll do that for you," Momiji added hastily. He turned on the oven before Yuki could react. "Then we have to grease the cookie sheet, or the cookies will stick. You can do that." He handed a sheet to Yuki who set to work.

" 'In a large bowl, cream together margarine, peanut butter, brown sugar and white sugar until smooth,' " Momiji read aloud. Yuki set aside the now greased cookie sheet and dumped the ingredients into the biggest bowl he could find.

"...How do you cream it?" he asked. To Yuki, it sounded like you had to add cream, though the recipe didn't call for it. Momiji mentally face-palmed. Of course his cousin wouldn't know food terms.

"Mash them all together until the ingredients are all combined," the younger boy explained, handing Yuki a fork.

_Sounds easy enough,_ thought Yuki as he pressed the fork into the lump of ingredients. But as soon as he tried to mix it together, the fork slipped and the stick of margarine nearly fell out of the bowl. Yuki silently cursed and tried again. He managed to actually spill some of the sugar, but the ingredients were still nowhere near creamed. Yuki started angrily stabbing his fork into the mix, swearing inside his head the entire time. Five minutes later, somehow the margarine, peanut butter and sugars were creamed to perfection. Yuki threw the fork into the sink, muttering to himself.

Momiji just marvelled at Yuki's technique. Why couldn't they harness Hatsuharu's 'black' side like that? If Haru could cook-or do anything constructive for that matter-like that each time he went black, he could easily work for a five-star restaurant. And as if on cue, Haru sauntered into the kitchen.

"Yuki..." Haru immediately walked over to the silver-haired boy and started poking him. "What are you guys making?" he asked, looking mildly impressed that Yuki was _cooking _at the _Main House_. He never thought he'd see the day...

"Hi Haru! We're making peanut butter cookies! Would you like some when we're finished?" Momiji asked brightly. Haru merely nodded and went back to poking Yuki. Momiji rolled his eyes. Why was Haru always tugging at Yuki's shirt or poking him or something like that? Was it really that entertaining? If so, he might have to try it sometime. He turned his attention back to the recipe book.

" 'Beat in eggs, one at a time, then stir in almond and vanilla extracts.' " Momiji read. He handed Yuki an egg beater as he cracked an egg. Haru stood behind Yuki, watching as if making cookies were the most fascinating phenomenon on earth.

"Could you not breathe down my neck?" Yuki asked Haru irritably.

"Haru, why don't you make yourself useful then?" Momiji quickly interjected. "Here, measure out a teaspoon of vanilla and half a teaspoon of almond extract." Yuki threw the blond a grateful glance.

Haru gazed blankly for a moment at the two little jars of extracts, before carefully measuring the correct amounts. Concentrating hard, he poured them into the bowl after Momiji cracked the second egg in. Yuki thought this was a little exaggerated, but said nothing.

"Great! Now we have to combine the flour, baking soda and salt. Then we stir it into the peanut butter mixture," instructed Momiji. Haru located another bowl to put the dry ingredients in, while Yuki stirred them together. After it was well blended, Momiji stirred all the mixes together.

"It says we have to spoon the dough onto the sheet in small balls about 5 centimetres apart..." Haru said, glancing at the cookbook. "Then we press down on it with a fork to do the criss-cross things." Yuki and Momiji set to work, while Haru grabbed another fork and squished down the cookie dough.

" 'Bake for eight to ten minutes, then let cool' " read out Yuki. Haru slid the cookies into the oven while Momiji set the timer. They started cleaning up while they waited, though Yuki and Haru's version of cleaning was just tossing everything dirty in the sink. Momiji, on the other hand, would have none of that and made them rinse everything and put the dishes into the dish washer. Everything that didn't fit in there was washed by hand.

Once the cookies were finished, Momiji quickly turned off the oven (for obvious reasons) and set them out to cool. After they finished cooling, Hatsuharu bravely decided to test one. He took a small bite before making the weirdest face ever.

"These are disgusting. Did you add an extra ingredient?" Haru asked through a mouthful of what was supposed to be a cookie.

"What? I followed the recipe exactly! With you two helping me! What could have gone wrong?" Yuki grabbed one of his creations and bit into it. Haru was right. It was disgusting. At that point, Momiji took a cookie more out of curiosity, not because he actually wanted to try it.

"Yuki... I think you mixed up the salt and sugar..." the blond explained, spitting out the foul baked good.

"These are disgusting..." Haru said again. But seeing his cousin's crestfallen face, he scooped up the entire batch into a container. "I'll take them anyway." With that the white-haired boy left, to do who knows what with the cookies.

Momiji just sighed. "Well, it's okay. It was a simple mistake. Let's try to make something else before you have to leave!" He put on a very forced and somewhat disturbing smile. Yuki weakly nodded. It wasn't as if he'd had a choice.

At the back of his mind, he vaguely wondered what Hatsuharu actually planned to do with the cookies. It wasn't as if he was going to eat them. But that wasn't important... Right?

* * *

_What will they make next? What does Haru plan on doing with the awful cookies? That comes in the next chapter! Mwahahahahaha!_

_I got this recipe for peanut butter cookies off the internet somewhere, so if you want to use it go ahead. I didn't modify it in any way, so go ahead and make yourself a batch! Just don't do what Yuki did..._

_And I apologize for the EXTREMELY late update. I was busy doing other stuff, and I had some major writers block. I don't promise, but I will try to never neglect a story for this long again._


	4. Chapter 4

_I was planning on making this longer, but it's become so dragged out that I had to end it. I apologize. -_-_

_Disclaimer: Still don't own. _

Momiji was determined to get Yuki to make something edible, and have nothing else go wrong. So why the hell were they now attempting to cook chicken burgers? On a _barbeque. _Why the hell did the Main House even _have _a barbeque?

As Yuki struggled to flip the burgers, Momiji realized he'd forgotten a plate for when the burgers were done.

"I'm just going to get a plate. Will you be okay?" Momiji asked Yuki, who responded with a string of unclear profanities about why this damn barbecue was so hard to work. And why the hell did the Main House even _have _a barbecue? Or something like that…

Momiji just took that as a yes, and went back inside to grab a large plate. Why he left Yuki alone with food on something that could catch fire we will never know. By the time he came back, of course, the barbecue did catch fire. Momiji mentally slapped himself.

"What did I do this time?" Yuki yelled hysterically. Momiji just turned off the barbecue and let the flames subside. The boys were unharmed, but unfortunately, the burgers were not. Some seemed okay, but others were charred black on one side.

"Um… Did you forget to flip them again?" Momiji asked his cousin, examining what looked like a chicken burger on one side and a lump of charcoal on the other. Yuki hung his head.

"Yes."

"Well, no wonder." Momiji just sighed and started scraping off the barbecue after trying to salvage some of the food. "Lets just go inside and cut off some of the burnt parts so at least it will be partially edible."

Yuki just nodded, feeling exhausted.

~~~~~~~~...

Haru wandered the halls of the Main House with the container of salted cookies in hand. Though he had volunteered to take them, he had absolutely no idea what to do with them. He wasn't going to eat them, obviously. But they had to be good for _something. _

_What to do, where to put them…_ Haru thought absentmindedly, trying to decide whether he should give them to someone he didn't like, or maybe leave them somewhere where no one would ever find them…Hmm… Maybe he could stack them somewhere in a cool pattern…

Inspiration struck Hatsuharu Sohma so hard he nearly fell over.

One hour later, Ritsu found a very ornate Mandela of over-salted peanut butter cookies outside his door. He was so confused, he forgot to apologize and proceeded to take a picture of the pretty design with his camera.

~~~~~~~~...

Back in the main kitchen, Yuki and Momiji were busy slicing off the burnt pieces of chicken. And for the same reason Momiji left Yuki alone with the barbecue, as well as cooking in general, he gave the older boy a knife. A big, sharp knife, which could easily cut many things. Including Yuki and Momiji.

But contrary to past experience, Yuki managed to not do anything extremely harmful or dangerous involving the knife. Both he and Momiji escaped unscathed after cutting off every single bit of burnt chicken.

"Yuki, do you want any sort of vegetables with your chicken?" Momiji asked, poking his head into one of the fridges, looking for some sort of vegetable that didn't take a lot of preparation.

"Sure, whatever's there," Yuki replied, actually feeling hungry. They had been cooking all day and he'd barely eaten anything.

Momiji brought out a few carrots, the easiest prepared veggie in the fridge. He washed them and gave them to Yuki to peel. After five minutes of another string of incomprehensible profanities, the carrots were peeled. For the most part.

But this time, the knife wasn't as easy to handle. Sure, it was fine cutting tender chicken, but cold, hard carrots? This was just asking for trouble as it was, letting Yuki try to slice them.

"Ouch!" Yuki cried, accidentally poking himself in the finger with the knife. It was bound to happen sooner or later. They really had been tempting fate; it was like they had left a plate of (non-salted) cookies out for it.

"Yuki! Ohmigosh are you okay?" Momiji asked, looking alarmed.

"I'm fine. It's barely even a cut. I'll just wash it and it'll be fine." Yuki walked over to the sink to rinse off his finger, which had a small bead on blood on it. But, when he left the counter, he didn't realize he knocked over the knife. On instinct, Momiji reached forward to try and catch it before it hit the floor. It clattered to the ground anyway, cutting Momiji's arm on the way down.

When the knife grazed his arm, Momiji didn't actually feel anything. It wasn't until a few seconds later when it started bleeding and realization sunk in that he started screaming.

"MyarmohmyGodthere'sbloodsomeonegetHatoriiiii!" Or at least, that was what it sounded like to Yuki.

"Oh, God, Momiji. Um, should I go get Hatori? I think he's in his office," Yuki tried to calm the younger boy down, while frantically trying to remember his first aid training. But Momiji was already running out the door, down the hall and across the courtyard to Hatori's office before Yuki could do anything. So he simply picked up the knife, washed it off and waited for Momiji to come back. No way in hell was Yuki going to try to cook alone now.

Momiji sprinted towards Hatori's office, clutching his bleeding arm. By the time he reached his destination, he was starting to feel lightheaded. He stumbled through the door, gasping for breath.

"Ha'ri my arm is bleeding! Make it stop!" he cried.

Hatori, who had been sorting through some medical records, smiled at Momiji's childish display, which now looked almost uncharacteristic on the 17-year-old's face.

"Okay, calm down Momiji, come with me." Hatori led him into the examination room. He washed and disinfected the cut, making Momiji wince at the sting.

Hatori inspected the cut while bandaging it, trying to make sense of what it was from.

"Momiji, how did you get that cut?" Hatori asked suspiciously. Momiji laughed, his arm already feeling better.

"Oh yeah! I was trying to teach Yuki to cook, but when we were chopping vegetables, we sort of had a little accident..." he grinned sheepishly at the doctor, who just gave him a weird look.

"You were trying to teach..._ Yuki..._ to _cook?" _He asked incredulously. Momiji nodded, making Hatori smile again. "Good luck with that," he told him, before sinking wearily into his office chair.

"Thanks!" Momiji called, turning to leave. Maybe it was his imagination, or did Hatori look… Depressed?

"Ha'ri? What's wrong? Did something happen? With Ayame maybe?" he asked, inspecting the doctor's tired face.

"How did-" Hatori started to ask, but he let the question drop.

"I'm more observant than you think," Momiji said, giving Hatori a wink. Hatori merely sighed.

"Thank you for your concern, Momiji, but I can handle myself. Anyway, you'd better get back to Yuki, before he burns the kitchen down."

"Oh no! I almost forgot! Bye Ha'ri! Feel better!" Momiji gave Hatori a quick hug before sprinting out of the office towards the kitchen.

In his haste, Momiji decided to take the other hall back to the kitchen as a shortcut. But as he rounded the corner, he crashed into Ayame, who was coming at him with equal speed.

"A-Ayame!" Momiji squeaked, picking himself up. "Um... Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, Momiji. I have to go see Hatori. Like, right now." Ayame quickly dusted Momiji off before dusting himself off and tearing off at mach 5 into Hatori's office. Momiji just stood there stunned for a moment, before rushing off again. He'd have to trust Ayame and Hatori to work out their problems themselves, as he had his own problem to handle in the form of Ayame's younger brother.

"Yuki!" Momiji burst into the kitchen, silently praying that Yuki had not done anything stupid again. His prayers were answered. Yuki was sitting quietly in a chair, reading the ingredients on a noodle bowl package. While Momiji was getting his arm treated, Yuki had busied himself trying to pronounce all the impossible names of the different preservatives.

"Momiji, are you okay?" The silver-haired boy jumped up, eyes worried.

"I'm fine. Did you do anything while I was gone?"

"No. I didn't want to have anything go wrong..."

"Great. Let's just finish cutting the carrots and eat!" Momiji picked up the knife again and quickly finished slicing the carrots. He set out what was left of their cooking attempts and the raw carrot sticks onto the counter. Yuki hesitantly started eating, before realizing he really did make something edible and polished his plate off fast.

"Thanks for everything today, Momiji, but I still don't think I'll ever be a top chef," Yuki said, smiling wearily. Momiji laughed.

"Well, if anything, you learned how to put the fires out when you cook!"

~~~~~~~~~~~... _Two days later..._

The knowledge of fire extinguishing did come in handy. How Yuki managed to _not _make sandwiches we'll never know.

_OH MY GOD that took FOREVER I'm SORRY! (hee hee I sound like Ritsu.) I hope the conclusion was more satisfying for you than it was for me._


End file.
